Few Things To Consider Before You Share Your Experience

I believe everyone has their own untold episodes of life stories 

...which they kept in their journal, diary and maybe in your mind palace. I also believe that your stories do not always means a mere story but also include with critics, comments, monologue or your feelings about it. However, what if you get an idea of sharing those experiences or stories and open it up on your blog, in the social media and other social networking that can enlarge the number of people reading it.

Your stories can be a love story (maybe a sad love story), your journey of fighting against the cancer or other kind of diseases, your travel hollaaa stories or perhaps your story of getting yourself cured from mental illnesses. Honestly, I really like to read every kind of confessions or life-experience stories from blog, website (and IIUM Confession). For me, I know what happened to the people at the other side of the world, other states and other places. It doesn’t matter who write it but the things that happened, the points the writer wanted to convey and the opinions, views the writer wants to say is all what I wanted to know.

So, your stories. If you really want to share your experiences in your blog, it is very good for your self-fulfillment and self-development because I know there are some people who love to write and find enjoyment doing it (personality basis). If you know, there are lot of experience-telling in the internet from happy stories to very depressive stories. One of my favourite and lovely experience-sharing ever is #RecoveryHeroes where all the experiences come from those whom had freed themselves with mental illness/disorder. However, here I list down the pro and cons of doing so. So, to begin with, let me start first with the cons.

Your experience-sharing may subject you to people’s judgement and critiques (especially if you are not ready for it)

To be honest, yes it is. Especially if you have your own blog where everyone knows it is your blog, the writer is you and all the contents originated from you.  From your style of writing, people may find you as a sensitive person, overthinking person, negative person or other bad characters you list down. Not all people can understand your own stories especially if it involved with your very personal matter for example:

a) YOUR STORY OF BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND

About your depressed love story, the most common thing included is your feelings which portrayed most of the personality about you. People can’t just understand feelings but they love the storylines.

 b) YOUR EXPERIENCE OF QUITTING PORNOGRAPHY

How about the very inter-personal matter like quitting pornography, cured from depression or eating disorder (example). It is very rare to read confessions about how people quit pornography except they make themselves as an anonymous writer and place their writings on public website.

Quitting pornography perhaps is very delightful moments for the world, to the religion and to the society because it indicates less exploitation over the women, less damaged brain, less extra-ordinary sexual cases and less increment on pedophiles case. However, telling your story of quitting pornography on your own blog will certainly create perception and views of your friends or your circular acquaintances be slightly torn and damaged towards you.

c) YOUR JOURNEY OF FIGHTING WITH MENTAL DISORDER (DEPRESSION, BULIMIA, ANOREXIA, ANXIETY ETC)

Same goes to former bulimic and anorexic people, what usually happened to them is they gained some weight as the recovery result. Some people love your story and will encourage you to live with a happy live and happy thought but there will be some people who see otherwise and say 

“Your current body is not healthy. You’re fat and you’re not doing it correct.” 

This commonly happened when you shared your experience of so in the social media like Instagram where people can just give you an instant comment.  If you are not fully-recovered, maybe you will find yourself not ready to accept those negative comments and turn to depressive state back. People may find you with low emotional equality and low-esteem which they forget that it was your past.

d) YOUR STORY OF TRAVELLING 
(EITHER GOOD OR BAD which you may include the reality v expectation)

Travelling can be an open-minded adventure or perhaps ruined your mood. If it is a good travel experience, the writing will certainly go for all the good and precious moments, the beautiful sun, moon and the stars shining in the dark sky and so on. However, there will be some people who’ll just think maybe you should donate your money to poor people rather than spending it for travelling. Mehhhh, sucha typical minded man. What if writing on bad travelling experience, people just find you as a negative person.

What about other type of stories? Are you ready for people’s judgement on you? Are you really ready to open it up? It’s up to you. If you're not ready, better think twice before it cause emotional hurt. 

Enough for Cons, I guess. I don’t have any intention to scare you. Hahaha. So here, the PROS which I really waited for to write on.

1. Your experience might guide others

Not all recovery stories contain bad sides, of course. You might wonder how your friendship be affected after publishing such story. The story you have published will absolute add up some more information about you in your friends’ memory. So, don’t be shy about it. Just be confident that you are really confessing it all.

Why I say so?

Because you don’t know some of your friends might having the same problem like you but they not yet see any solution (and of course they won’t tell you if it is very private). Your story might not hit all the readers but it obviously hit those who need help.

The solution you wrote down in your blog, can be your way of solving problem but it also help other people who having the same problem to initiate the first step to make it solved too.

For example, back to the story of quitting pornography or maybe quitting smoking. In this world, not all men watch pornography. There’re some men who watch and some of them didn’t. You story might attract small portion of people who didn’t but your story will obviously attract those who wants to help themselves and to escape from the habit. Your story of absolutely saying ‘STOP’ to pornography will be their motivation.

Same goes to the smoking, there a lot of people either men or women smoking but believe or not, there are some people wish to stop smoking. The courage you have, the sayings you keep tell to yourself and the motivation you’ve maintained till the end are not merely ‘empty’ spirit.  Telling your victory of how you no longer smoke may hit the smoker readers who wish to stop.

2. They are not alone

I did mistake and you made mistake too. There’re two types of mistake which human will consider as a shameful mistake. First, mistake done in the public and second, mistake done in a private place/ during alone especially you know it is wrongful/sinful. Mistake done in the public, ah, we all know. Shouting without reason in a conference session is enough to bring our face into a bright red of shame. How about mistake done in the private place/ during alone? Committing adultery, watching pornography (men and women), having depression/anxiety, masturbate (men and women) and many more.

It’s common to hear that men are much more likely to watch pornography and masturbate, but it is occasionally rare to hear women watch porno and masturbate. I give example, there’s girl whom watched porn and sometimes masturbate in her room, and she knows it’s wrong in the eye of religion. Then, she realizes she’s a bad girl and feeling lonely of how bad she is. The depressive story begins.

So, reading your blog about your experience or (maybe not your experience) ways to cope with that ‘very personal matter’, she realizes she’s not that bad and still has chance to make herself better.

3. Mind-opening story

How did I know and mentioned a girl watched porn? So to say, I found a confession. She’s a Muslim, 19 years old. In the confession, the girl admitted she watched pornography and can only abstain herself for two weeks. She felt very embarrassed of herself. She did repent but after a while, she commits back. The circle of shame rotate as she failed to abstain from it.

For me, this girl is very brave enough to make that of kind confession even though I found it in a public Facebook page. It indicated she really wanted to help herself but lack of support. Obviously she never told her family about this.

Other points of view, I know there are girls indulged in this kind of matter. The issue of pornography is real (not only for men but also for women). They wanted to stop, at the same time they also need support. They never open up about this matter to anyone. For them, it’s shameful.

Why mind-opening story?

We know this kind of people exist, we know they are searching for help but hiding. We’ll never know what these people feel and encounter the stigma they have to face. We know we can help, so begin the brainstorming for the next ideas to reach these people. If we cannot help, enough to take lesson from it.

4. Not to forget that by writing down your experience will develop your self-satisfaction and self-fulfillment.

Jules Evans, one of the Ted Talk speaker, was a drug addict, had depression and anxiety, his life was miserable and drowned in the deepest level of darkness in hell. Now, he’s the author of Philosophy for Life Website, a famous and confident man.

A man whom had a dark past, paved a bright future for himself. Writing (or telling) will absolutely enhance the rhythm of your self-achievement, self-satisfaction and self-recovery. However, if you have a strong trust issue, forget about experience-blogging unless you change your perception first.

So, ya the readers. Have you consider the facts you’ll be facing? Be brave.